barf for sale.. at your local jam3iya!

ok, i think i can finally agool enna I've seen it all!



i was ga3d atmasha peacefully bjam3iyatna when i came across this interesting product... ya3ni madri how do these guys come up with stuff like this.. its quite an amazing product.. i think its like fertilizer, you know shlon yistakhdimoon animal poop to make flowers and corn grow.. well its the same, they use IQNet-certified barf to clean the floors, kitchenware, toilet seats, car windsheilds, eyeglasses, toenails, and it even removes those 2year old yellow plaques on your teeth...
plus, it leaves magic brightness :)

slogan: go ahead... barf it up foo

todays photos from al-adan hospital/museum

ilyom we were in the operating rooms in al-adan as part of our final year surgical rotation..
so i snapped a few photos for you guys.





this first pic is while we were sitting in the doctors room... it looks nice and normal... but i cant help but think why in the world anyone would put a "poison" cabinet (locked, of course) in the operating theater... maybe the russians placed it there..















now this picture, i just had to take.. i was walking around aimlessly bayn il ghuraf when i saw this kid. it was strange becuase we never see kids in the OT.. usually its only middle aged indian guys with yellow feet. bes maskeen he started crying and calling for his mom, we we tried enna inwansa.. yibnalla surgical gloves and we made balloons and cow udders out of them bes maku fayda :(















ba3dain he got really cold so we wrapped like a sausage... hehehe.

the smallest projector in the world!

"The famous developer of light-scanning technologies

for display and imaging products, Microvision is planning to unveil at CES an advanced prototype of a handheld plug-and-play projector intended for mobile devices and applications, named as SHOW. It’s the stand-alone pico projector which powered by the company’s proprietary ultra-miniature PicoP display engine, allowing the users to project a wide screen, WVGA resolution (848 X 480 pixels), DVD quality image, ranging from 12 inches (30cm) to 100 inches (2.5m).

In addition, Microvision also claims that the SHOW can support up to 2.5 hour of battery life on a single charge, which sufficient to watch a full-length movie.

“Consumers want better display solutions that will enrich their experience in watching TV, videos and movies, in playing games, and in browsing the web from their cell phones and other mobile devices,” said Alexander Tokman, President and Chief Executive Officer of Microvision. "

things I will use the projector for:

1. projecting videos from my iphone while lying in bed
2. projecting videos from my iphone on my desk while studying for my surgical final exam
3. projecting videos from my iphone on the bathroom tiles while taking a dump
4. projecting videos from my iphone on the dashboard while waiting in 6reej fhaheel traffic (morning and afternoon)
5. projecting videos from my iphone on the ground during hospital rounds/lectures
6. projecting videos from my iphone while getting a lecture about projecting videos from my iphone

the options are unlimited... what else do u guys suggest i do with it?

According to the company, the commercial version of the new show handheld projector is expected to be available by the end of 2008 and will only cost 400 US dollars, which would amount to something like 3 or 4 KD at the current exchange rate i think :/

ARE YOU RACIST?

check out this online test from harvard guys, it will take maybe 5 minutes, but it will tell you if you subconsciously prefer white people over black people and if you prefer obama over mccain!

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/Study?tid=-1

they told me i strongly prefer white :/

Taco Bell in Kuwait?

Check this out, this photo was snapped right oustide baytna..


















ya3ni madri, where do you guys think something like this came from??

The Happiest Woman in the World!

look at that smile.. ma t7isoon 9ij min galb?
i think i have finally found as3ad imra2a fil3alam.
(na9ee7a for banat ilyoum, if you ever want to be this happy, join Iran's Basij militia)

Tissue Box Mystery

here's a question.. why is it that whenever you open a new box of tissues the first tissue you take is stuck to 30 other tissues? i mean why can't i take only the first tissue like any other tissue, just one at a time? has this ever happened to you? or maybe its becuase all the tissue boxes i buy are the cheap jam3iya ones... so asked my micro circle of firends the other day (i only have 2 friends), and one of them came up with this theory:
most of the time, when someone decides to open a new box of tissue, there is an emergency... kind of like a code red need for kleenex (e.g. after a sneeze with ooze coming out of the nose, or after a spill of juice or laban.). in such cases your need for the tissue is so desperate that it would be more important for you to open the box and pull 20 other pieces of kleenex along with the first one and either use them or throw them away, then to sperate them and put the rest back.. by using this technique, the tissue box companies force you to empty box at a faster rate, rendering you in need of yet another box... and the cycle repeats itself....

i think i like his theory, i until one of you losers reading this post comes up with another one, i will consider it true..


ten-four

Strangest House in Kuwait!

ok, you've heard about the alladin house in fintas...
the versaille palace in messeilah..

and now, the creative minds of kuwait have come up with the worlds first Roman Theater/Hall/House/Haunted House/Dungeon/Building/Circus

I came accross it a few weeks ago in some unihabited man6a8a..








this is the view from front, notice the life size statue.. impressive!!














and a closer look.. stunning!
















this is the back botanical garden.. it resembles a grave yard packed with roman statues!! is wear i am not joking it seems like the central gallery at the louvre if you guys have been there!






all hail ceaser....

Letter 7

"In the beginning of time, the skies were filled with flying elephants. Too heavy for their wings, they sometimes crashed through the trees and frightened other animals.

All the flying grey elephants migrated to the source of the Ganges. They agreed to renounce their wings and settle on the earth. When they molted, millions of wings fell to the earth, the snow covered them, and the Himalayas were born.

The blue elephants landed in the sea and their wings became fins. They are whales, the trunkless elephants of the oceans. Their cousins are the manatees, the trunkless elephants of the rivers.

The chameleon elephants kept their wings but agreed never again to land on the earth. They change the colors of their feathers every day. Today they are azure, and when it rains they are the color of pearls.

When they go to sleep, the chameleon elephants always lie down in the same place in the sky and dream with one eye open. The stars you see at night are the unblinking eyes of sleeping elephants, who sleep with one eye open to best keep watch over us."

Credit Crunch on this!

check it out, took this photo while i was roaming the great lands of egailah, kuwait..



ok, ya3ni gilna amreeka is recessing bes moo chithi 3ad!


they reached a mar7ela inna they rent out entire families...


Allah yaster.

Hej Hej

Hej guys, i am finally back in business. sorry for being absent for so long, was in sweden performing pilgrimage... and catching blue-finned tuna fish, but dont tell teh authorities.

i'll post some photographs later on...

until next tyme.

hej lo!

after 23 years of submersion into the world of deep contemplation, i have come to the following conclusion:

there are two types of people in this world.  people who prefer eating the crispy part of irani bread, and those who eat the white part.

rejoice, for i am home brahman

there's no place like mu7awwil

 come on. don't you ever try to convince me to live in a dung house like that man.  No matter how many rooms and "big halls" it has, i aint never living in a place with a high voltage warning on its front door.  no way jose. gomez rocks!

Panacea!

all yee people may yee behold the great Elixir of Life!
oh how humble i stand at it's sight
the majik of majiks!
oh yet my longing grows for you every second

and third and fourth

oh butt i really am seduced by your lust.

where's the trust
blown away like trust.

tell my senses how

i'm wishing i'm in a constant state of now
tell the world why

fly bye cry dye die deep fry

tell me without faulter

how the hell a cup of you costs less than water! (you can get 250 ml of sunkist for half price of that amount of water)

it's you, the one i so violently pursue

it's that, tell your mother you are fat

please give me room to heal, give me some of your orange peel

let me to bite in to your alluminium casing

and let the orange blood be spilt

i shall be stacy

and you as well

don't ever tell me that the world is round, or that light is faster than sound, or that a rhombus beith round

tell me of the stories of old, of how kings were turned to slaves, bought and sold,

of the pious men, and how they robbed souls,

of the palms of my hands, the soles of my souls.

tell me why, an entire nation of kuwaities cant resist,

this little beverage commonly known as "sunkist"

(take the road straight ahead, only look back, there's no use bringing up all the dust if you don't enjoy its texture)

danka.

out, seeing the fields

sorry, guys i've been a bit busy this past couple of days, i've been working as a part-time murasil lately, so i've decided to take pics of things i see throughout my day and share with you. here's a humble collection of what i've gathered during the past 2 days.

ok, first in our list is this funny looking road sign. for those ocularly retarded, it depicts a motorcycle above an automobile, with a red hash overlapping them. now, after much thought i came up with 3 possible exiblanations:

1. no motorcycles or cars are to be driven on this road.
2. all evil-kinevil style motorbike stunts are strictly forbidden.
3. if, by any chance, while cruising on fahaheel road, you come across a flying motorcycle, do not to drive underneath it. attempt a quick swerve to the right or left accordingly.

-it can hold no other meaning-

i was on the fourth, you see, minding m own here business, when this half-lorry (oh laury, how i miss you), drove up next to me. unsurprisingly, it was carrying a cow. yes folks, the real-deal cow! not one of those costumes you could pay 3 egyptians guys to where and dance around with at your graduation party, but an acutal Bos primigenius indicus!!

i never knew we made those in kuwait.

!
for those of you who do not read the arabic, here is a translation of what it says:
-5idmat manazil mitmayzah-
mikyaj-tarkeeb sha3ar-tamless
ta5sees-wa kul a3mal al9alon
3ala yed 5abeerat ma'3ribiyat wa afri8iyat

9alon lamset reem

(lord have mercy)

ok, now this is gotta be the corniest thing in the world. why in the world would you warn the over-speeding driver that a camera awaits him? doesn't that ruin the surprise? it's like having students take an unproctored exam, and then announce to them that "in 2 minutes, we will come by and check that none of you are cheating" until then, do as yee wish.

for those not aquainted with it, this hot-shot palace/castle is located on fahaheel expressway. when i first came accross it, i was thinking "wow! boy would i love to live in a place like dat!" i was thinking. however, i soon came to realize that i would never ever need a(n) habitat of that size! what kind of family would live in a place like that. i mean, even if everyone stayed at home all day long, it would take at least 4 years before anyone would come across someone else. yukh!

get a load of this. i think there's a guy whizzing behind the tree. look at the puddle he has so gracefully accumulated.

i've always wondered, do they cover the tops?

my personal favorite. came accross this sign while on a bridge in shwaik village. i sat there, in my car, all by my lonesome, pondering whether or not i should march ahead. what could possible exist beyond the point of zero distance. how will speed be measured? what would it be like to live in a world governed only by time, mass and volume?

i chaywart and went back home.

observe the Kuwait Grand Central Prison in the distance. note the smoke. don't want to imagine what kind of hard manual labor they're making the dwarves do down there.

the three electronic speed detectors on this bridge are probably as useless as the people who fixed them. i compare them to the 3 jeopardy podiums the contestants stand behind and buzz when they want to answer. you see the cars speed up when getting close to the bridge, as if trying to see who's speed will light up first.

Alex! Alex! Alex!

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3gailah Paradise:

Where Reality is a Dream

Concerning the Japan, Japonia, and Shinzo Abe..

In Japan, the main purpose of taking a bath is cleaning your body.

The typical Japanese bathroom consists of two rooms, an entrance room where you undress (except for your really tight linnen undergarments) and which is equipped with a sink, and the actual bathroom which is equipped with a shower and a deep bath tub. The toilet is almost always located in a completely separate room (so as to isolate the toxic reek of fermented wasabi).

When bathing Japanese style, you are supposed to first rinse your body outside the bath tub with some water from the tub, using a washbowl (or a potty). Afterwards, you enter the tub, which is used for soaking only. The bath water tends to be relatively hot for Western bathing standards. If you can barely enter, try not to move much, since moving around makes the water appear even hotter (resitance is futile).

After soaking for a while, leave the tub and clean your body with soap (make sure you get all those hard-to-reach areas). Do not allow any soap to get into the bathing water. Once you finished cleaning yourself and rinsed all the soap off your body, enter the bath tub once more for some more soaking. After leaving the tub, do not drain the water, since all household members will use the same water (try not to take a dump in there either).

Lala... Lawry?

j'entre profondément

i feel sorry for her. that blue-eyed Serbian illegitimate grandmother stabbing my conscious with her look.
i feel sorry for him, carbon-black eyed, African kid with an abdomen so distended you'd think he had jelly belly. Marasmus sucks.
i feel sorry for that harmless gazelle, making its elegant leap across the open savannah, only to find a lionesses' open jaw meeting its jugular on the other side.
i feel sorry for the millions of corn plants being cultivated every year for the sole purpose of biofuleing.

i'm deeply sorry,

but my sorrow goes only fractionally to them.. my true sorriness goes to a guy called Laury (pronounced like dowry)

laury isn't the kind of guy that bothers you with his presence, he's not the type that keeps on talking and talking and doesn't understand that you're not actually staring at his face because you're interested but because you're observing the strange white froth accumulating on his mouth angles.
he pops up every now and then. sometimes he's seen often. sometimes not at all.
i find no better way to tell you about him than to let him speak about it himself.


-flash-

"where am i?" i thought to myself
"'why, you are safe now' said the fox" said the bird.
slowly i gaze around the dark room. is that a light, he thinks to meself. a pineapple? ouch!
wait, my feet are pineapples! or are those my nipples? pine-nipples.
oh, now i get wings, wet wing. i guess i had them all the time. i fly.
fly out of the box and in to the city. where is everyone? why so many ants? i'll land somewhere different. there, a boy is sitting under that tree. stop pushing me.
suddenly i turn my head to the left. then to the other left. i kill him.
ahhhh i'm in so much pain, regret.. i'm sorry. please cum back to life. too late. if only there was anoth...

-end-


poor poor laury. if you haven't guessed as of yet, laury is actually the guy i had in my dream the other day. i really feel sorry for beings like him. they come to existence as a result of our subconscious, only to live 5-7 measly minutes of miserableness. i'm sure most of you have had the same dream. the type where the main character (sometimes viewed in 1st person) gets in soo much trouble that you think 'darn'. at times it's so real that when we wake we carry with us the burden of whatever troubled us in the dream into our real world.

do people like laury truly exist. does our imagination exist. did not Descartes (pronounced diskarteez) say that we think therefore we are. and since the laury is a product of our thought, a result of neuronal action potential running through the limbic system, frontal lobe and hippocampus of my brain, doesn't that make him "am". the mere fact that i remember his name till now (dream memoirs have 7 minutes post-sleep half-lives by the way) makes him not only existent, but also someone who has been able to cross into this world.
(the willies overwhelm me).
but does laury think. he can make decisions can't he? as soon as we mentally "produce" him, we automatically bestow upon him all our previous knowledge and experiences, and he uses them to act accordingly. he assumes our logic in a bohemian sort of way.

but what is thinking anyway? is it not just a reflex reaction our mind goes through as a result of a stimulus?
e.g. i see a flower i think of how you left me for kumar.
the earth, in response to tectonic plate movements, relfexly gushes out its insides. does that sequence qualify as a thought. does that make it "be". Dr. Sid's Gaia, perhaps.

but i feel sorry. i brought him into this world. but did i really have a choice, or was it my primitive brain that was steering. i don't remember choosing for laury to come over for the night. i never invited him, and sure as hell wouldn't have if twas up to me.

to all entities in my previous, current and dreams that are yet to come, i ask for your forgiveness. you do not deserve the ruthless lives you lead. the only thing i can promise you is that from now on, whenever i come across you in one of my sweaty nights, i will bring you into my world. i will write about you and your fate, people will remember you and in that way you will forever live.. within the letters of my sentences.

and to laury: you look soo fine in those tank-tops ;)

MC Najadi

this guy is so hot now.

The Aweliyeens

there's gotta be a handful in every community. every tribe. every clan. every tradition. you'll find that in normal development of any society, there must arise therein a group of wise people known to have existed some time ago referred to as the "elders".

the zen have the ancient souls
the greek have their mythical gods
the native indians have the great spirits
and we kuwaities... well we came up with the awaliyeen

they're not the brightest of people i tell you, not too sharp either. they existed circa 17th century AD. they were a simple folk, of very generous habits, and always had food on their mind. Now throughout their duration of being (around 27 years give or take) they held many a gatherings to discuss what the future generations can benefit from their wide experiences. it is said that they were the first people to come up with the concept of deductive reasoning. they also invented the microwave (though they are not so famous for that one). the things they came up with, man i tell you, would forever alter the course of the Kuwaiti womankind.

when referring what they have said, a person can either start by saying:
yigooloon inna....
or say ilawaliyeen yigooloon...
or you can start by rhetorically asking: shigooloon ilawaliyeen..

now that that that that that's out of the way, here's a translation of some of the hardcore stuff they came up with:


If the cows perform pilgrimage on their horns
if your friend is sweet, don't eat him entirely
if the camel falls, his knives increase
what has made you sharp oh nail? he replied "the sledgehammer"
hold your madman lest a madder one shall cometh
eat what you enjoy, and wear what others enjoy
wait you donkey until spring comes
put your head between your legs and bear witness on the parents
place your money in the sun and sit in the shade
he who smells it, is he who hugs it (i.e. you did it)
the height is as tall as a palm tree, but the brain is that of a goat
he who inflicts wounds on himself does not cry
that which is in the pot is taken out by the oversized serving spoon
you haven't but your nose, crooked as it may be
your uncle's.... don't worry about it
spread your legs only as long as your mattress is
the handsome man is handsome, even if he just woke up from sleep, and
the ugly man is ugly, even if he puts mascara
if you increase the size of your bite, you will choke on it (how the hell did they come up with this stuff? geniuses i tell you!)
the fart in the whistler's market cannot be heard
ask a person who tried, don't ask a doctor! (i wouldn't say i entirely agree with that one,,, i'm a hospital porter folks, i know what doctors are capable of)

well, there yee have it, the great sayings of the unsung heroes of humanity. may their wisdom forever guide us into the light... amen

Arabogines

a couple of weeks ago i was driving my beat-up pickup in kuwaits 10th district (ilman6a8a il3ashra, AKA no man's land) when i stopped at what first seemed as a red light. it suddenly smacked me that it was actually a green light. but, it was still red. yet it there was a greenish hue to it.

beginingly, he thinked: "what kind of crazy prank is the government pulling this time"
i mean, isn't it enough that your average bander shamander bedioun won't even look at the traffic light and try to analyze what the colors mean, let alone stop for one.

this brings about an important topic.. people i like to call arabogines, or as you lay people refer to them: arab bediouns. they are a weird group of creatures i tell you. i think they took a detour somewhere along our evolutionary quests and ended up like this. maybe some ant genes were incorporated in tehir genomes or something, becuase i tell you, boy oh boy can they reproduce!!



"aha, i think i finally deduced it. maybe the municipality isn't as stoopid as thought initially. " he thought.

i think that the simultaneous green and red lights are quite significant (p<.001). the 2 colors, represent modern day "ying/yang", the 2 opposing natural forces. in the stock market, if your numbers are green, you'll meet the quarter, if they're red, chapter 11 bankruptcy awaits you. in new age optical physics, the red and green colors are at the 2 extremes of the spectrum.

in ecology, Code Green, or the Green Code is Code of Practice for the Safe Use of Pesticides on Farms and Small Holdings. Code Red, ecologically, refers to a Dangerous Wild Fire. In medicine, Code Red is used to refer to surgical patients who need advanced life support.

the two biggest organizations of today:
Green Peace
Red Army

need i say more?

so, i believe, the lighting of both red and green colors on that traffic light is a message from the Araboginal World, saying:

Common People, let's put all this extremism behind us. Let us elliminate this ying/yang japanese excreta and strive for a better world. Let's all leap forward, humans and apes, hand in hand and hope for a better fuchure.

of course, they could've just put up a flashing yellow light instead and sent the same message, but hey, they dont call them aborigines for nothing. they call them that for something.

blue sock dillema

i slowly took off my shoes today after coming home from a long day at work (local coal powerplant), cautiously awating the deadly fumes of my two fungating feet to reach my nose hairs. Much too much to my surprise, instead of passing out the way i usually do everyday, my mind was preoccupied with a sight of alternative horror (illustration 1).
standing there, he noticed that his socks were of 2 different shades of blue. Now, what reasons brought about this erraneous mishap (pronounced mis-hap not mish-ap). "Irrelevant", he thought. The actual question flying around his brain like a penguin was whether twas the light blue sock that was intruding on a day when he should be wearing dark blue socks, or was it the dark blue sock intrusion?
let me give you an example.
we have a baker. not your average fat, sweaty droplet faced french guy, but a thin cambodian kind. the kind that would happily make a stew out of his grandma for 5 bucks. anyway, let's say he poisoned some of his german sour bread for some unknown reason. Now lets say that in the middle of the cold night, another guy (chinese, medium build, hairy back) breaks into the bakery and steals the poisoned german sour bread and goes home and gives it to his adopted black children. they all die before dawn. now this chinese guy goes to the local judge and files a law suit against the baker for killing his children. but the judge can't rule in favor of the chinese fellar becuase it was he who stole the bread in the first place (light blue sock vs. dark blue sock).

So who's to blame, the asian or the yellow skin? maybe we ought to blame the children, for if it was not for them, no bread would have been stolen. or maybe the judge should blame society for putting the baker under such tough circumstances, which lead to his poison infusion.. or maybe society ought to blame the judge for blaming them. Blame, blam, bla, blah, blah, blah.

you see my friends, we have reached the hairy pit fall stain just about now. in today's world of endless attempts at pan-conflict resolution , no one has really stopped and thought about the possibility of null sided outcomes. why does someone always have to be wrong. what if no one's wring. what it i was supposed to put on orange socks that day and both blue socks are intruders. maybe the result of this problem is as simple as the micrsoft windows calculator puts it: "1/0=cannot divide by zero".

maybe, i shouldn't have worn any socks at all. perhaps i should have placed my moist toes in those leather shoes all day, and allowed that fungus the accumulate and grow and grow and slowly ferment on my interdigital spaces until they bleed ooze. smooze. and then i should probably amputate both my stenchy little moldy feet. then, and only then, will i no longer need to ponder about whether its a light blue or dark blue sock day.